Haha.. i'm very happy today

Went back to YISS with xian...
no words can describe how happy i am..

Every year, teachers' day is always the day that i get motivated!
i have been thinking what should i work as after i graduate

i thought of to Just work .. and study part time
but as wat?
HR? After studying for HR for this half sem..
i think it's really not wat i really wanted..
As it seems tougher than i thought it would be..

Teacher?
Wat to teach?
i'm not good in maths and english now..
what else can i teach?

setting up a business?
What about the capital?

lotsa thoughts came to my mind..

After meeting Mr tan and Mr Lim today,
praising us for having to make it thru ITE to Poly..
it's a really GOOD thing..
and i'm proud of myself too for making this far..
as there are only a few who did it for NT classes students like us..

and Mr Tan told us to carry on studying till university..
But more expectation went to xian..
as they were amazed of her, scoring a GPA of 3.90..
then i started to think..
How can i slow down..
as i used to be a competitor of hers..
*no offence*
I mean.. cux my current score is only 3.10..
how can this score get myself a place in uni?
the possibility is really low..
i wan to make myself proud of getting into Uni..
and making Mr Tan proud for having a student like me..
and having him to come for any of my awards ceremony..
It really do make me proud to think of it..

But this semester has passed.. and i'm nt expecting gd results from myself.
What can i do to get better marks..
i can only motivate myself to do well in the final sem..
but the motivation is really not long-lasting..
i always get drifted away from what i really wanted to do..

i seriously regretted for slacking down in poly..
i mean.. i use to be the top few scholars in sec and ITE..
and now.. i am just nothing but a pool of shyt!

I better buck up!
To Go for wat i really want..
i'm gonna put all my heart in..
Just to make him and my parents proud!

and i hope..
i really hope..
my future will be as bright as the sparkling stars..

Or maybe i should Just quit my job and concentrate on the final lap?
I wanted to quit ever since my second year, when i scored a GPA of 2.8
But who can i find to replace me..
i've been working there for like 4 years..
And I am too ashamed to get pocket money from my parents for me being 22 and dad having financial issues with the house, business, car payment, granny's hospital fees.. etc etc.
i can only work and earn pocket money myself.. as i'm too ashamed!

i missed those times when i'm in secondary..
where i dun need to work during school days..
where there isn't any issues at home..
where my expectations for studies was high and i was able to achieve it..
where teachers motivated me to study and achieve gd results..
where teachers looked highly and expected a lot from me..
where there are less things to be troubled about..
where i was confident for my N level..
i wish time would stop in secondary..
But.. life moves on..
it's cruel..... but it's a fact..

there are so many things running through my mind now..

Good nite to all..